Open letter to Senators Roberts and Brownback.

Dear Senator,
Thank you for your faithful service. I would like to encourage you to maintain the best of Conservative ideals.
I listened to the President give his speech about how the “Panty Bomber” got through the security net. First point I’d like to make is that no mater what we do someone is going to get through. We have been focusing so hard on restricting ourselves that we forgot to focus on Islamic Wahabist Terrorists.

The only way we can insure total safety while flying is to surrender all our possessions to the security personnel including the clothing we are wearing, submit to a cavity search and x-ray examination then submit to being strapped into a chair and having to ask to be released to use the restroom, while being observed. Then and only then can we be totally safe from a terrorist being able to hijack or blowup a plane. I wont do that. Will you?

The only way you can provide any level of security is by identifying and focusing on those most likely to be Islamic Wahabist Terrorists. You know young Islamic males of African and middle eastern extraction who display certain behaviors. Did you notice that none of this stuff ever happens on El Al flights? They have a system of screening these people. Think of how many of their passengers are Middle Eastern. Yet they successfully identify the terrorists. Do You think we can call up the guy in charge of their security and ask him how?

The President mentioned that the simple act of changing the spelling of ones name can cause a problem. Why did he let that out anyway? But that’s beside the point. Did you ever “Google” someone and misspell the name? Did you notice how Google will ask you if you intended to search for the properly spelled name? Can’t we hire someone to set up the data server that we keep the terrorists names on to do that? Can’t we set up a server to be intuitive? Also why can’t we buy a computer with a nice Azus raid motherboard in it and put a 5 drive raid array, striped with parity. Use some really big hard drives and use the search program that Google uses and strip it of the graphics’ except for photos and fingerprints and the like. Every time someone gets a valid looking warning checked out and entered, every check using a name similar to the listed one will pull up the info on that one. Let every query go to that server no matter who makes it. Of course you will have to have whole forest of these computers but can’t we manage that for homeland security? EBay and Google can.

The last point. And I’m not trying to be weird. I know the idea is grotesque but so is cutting off a fellows head with a butcher knife and putting it on video. The rectum is used in prisons for transporting contraband. A terrorist can be trained to accept a 1 lb block of C4 or even C8 with a plastic blasting cap encased in a couple of condoms. Once in place the only thing exposed would be two tiny wires. Those wires could be pulled out in the restroom and later be attached to a power supply and Boom! Any personal electronics can supply the power needed. This is why I want to see more screening of actual terrorist suspects so that we can stop these people getting onto a plane. There is no way you can defend against a determined foe by doing the generalized screening you’re doing now. We do need to profile people. When was the last time you saw an Irish Catholic grandmother hijack a plane?

Ipsa Conteret,
Herbert Seel